I hate pain

Unfortunately, my pain lately has gone through the roof. I don't know what happened. It was slowly getting worse and I had to up my pain meds. Then, I had to up them again. When Geoff and I drove to Chapel Hill last week for my appointment, I was in so much pain (from the drive, mostly) in my lower back that I was in tears. Yuck! I actually got an x-ray on Friday because I thought I had a compression fracture in my lumbar spine.

But, there's no fracture. That would have actually been good news because they can inject cement into your spine to stabilize it and reduce pain. But now, I'm left with more of the ambivalent "we don't know what's causing your pain," but "it's probably some kind of cancer progression." But of course, it usually can't be explained by scans or bloodwork or tumor marker tests (because those are always great) so who knows what's causing it? Geez! Frustrating. I'm having yet another CT scan next week the day before my doc appointment on the 24th. The good news is Geoff and I get a night away from the kids. Yes! So what that it's for less than stellar reasons. We're still staying at the Carolina Inn so we can get a good dinner and hang out together.

That is truly the silver lining in all of this mess is that I get to spend time alone with my hubby going to appointments while driving and waiting, etc. Our busy schedules and his work and hockey life limit our time alone together. And forget about trying to have a conversation with him while the kids are around. I love those sweethearts but they have to ALWAYS know what we're talking about and chime in. So, that will be a nice "getaway." I'm warped, I know.

Don't forget about my 40th birthday party! I'm going to get out some invites for May 21 (a Friday) at Oak Island. It will be casual, BYOB, BYO food. I'm not going to stress about cooking. And absolutely no presents. I just want to relax, see the ocean and spend time chatting with friends over a good (few?) glasses of wine. Nuff said!