Saturday, October 17, 2009

My October trip to Boston

Well I made it back safely from the Philadelphia Airport. Barely. I will make a note to myself to not fly through that vortex again.

I saw my doctor on Thursday after having a full-body CT scan. They even did my head this time to check on my headaches that have been bothering me lately and to rule out brain mets. The scans did not show anything in my brain and some of the areas in my bones showed some improvement. So they believe that the Femara is working. While I am of course happy about that news, I have a high degree of skepticism when it comes to the scans because they have been wrong before. After all, it took over a year for them to find the bone mets that I knew were there all along. Unfortunately, I believe in listening to my body first and listening to the doctor second. I am thrilled, however, that I do not have to have any chemo right now. The doctor said we'd be doing that at some point but it can wait. Given my current level of overall fatigue and these headaches I don't want any treatment beyond the Femara for a while. I'm so excited to go to San Fran and the wine country in December too that I want to be up for that. Cancer be damned.

Luckily, I did not get as sick from the Zometa treatment this time. Which is good since it took me 29 hours to fly home from Boston!! That's a blog post in and of itself. For another time. Doc wants to see me in 7 weeks. I'm thinking of putting that off until January. For some reason, I want to focus on friends and family for the next 3 months. Again, cancer can s*** it. I nearly had a panic attack before this last doctor appointment, waiting for the scan results. Although he doesn't want to do any scans at the next appointment, I think I just need a mental vacation from all this crap for a while. The holidays take a lot of energy and I want to REALLY try and enjoy it this year instead of just surviving it, if that makes any sense.

Thanks for listening. Sorry I'm not a short poster! Hope all my friends and family are doing well!

One more thing. I'm going to start telling people most of the time that while I appreciate their questions about how I am doing I don't want to talk about it. At all. Please don't take offense at that. But every time I have to talk about it, I have to relive it. And if I'm ever able to put all this out of my mind, that's a good thing. Thanks for understanding! xoxo